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We have been taught from the childhood to overcome fear, but it is often impossible to cope with it on our own. Most think fear is just a negative emotion, but it sometimes gets out of control, depriving a person of the opportunity to live a full life.

Under the guise of anxiety and phobias.

Feelings and emotions are signals that regulate a person's behavior. Fear signals danger, anger - about violation of personal borders, resentment - that what is happening does not meet our expectations. The stronger our emotions, the more difficult it is to include conscious control.

Fear is characterized by a different intensity of sensations and can change masks, including anxiety, fear itself and phobias.

Need to get rid of anxiety.

Typically, an alarm is a background condition that causes noticeable discomfort and can last quite a long time. Its location in the body is easy to detect, most people feel a feeling of tension in the abdomen or chest.

With concern, everyone can cope, but if it does not work, it can lead to the development of psychosomatic diseases.

This feeling can be a natural reaction to events in life. Ideally, when the situation is resolved, it passes by itself. Also, anxiety is sometimes an individual feature of the psyche. Man by nature has a tendency to worry even about what is objectively not a danger.

A serious problem is only pathological anxiety - a condition that does not pass, even when the situation is positively resolved.

Such an emotion can still be called an objectless fear, and this is its main danger: in fact you can only control what you realize by the mind. Overcome it will only turn into a pronounced fear. Then the alarm will indicate the object, you can work with it or search for ways of interaction. A good example is the story of one of my clients.

A young man of twenty-six years from his childhood was brought up on examples such as "Lenin, when he put a blot, copied the entire notebook." On the part of the parents there was constant pressure, so he grew up with the conviction that everything should be done ideally or not at all. Any work he was given was difficult, because he was constantly afraid of making a mistake. Therefore, I always refused options that imply responsibility or even the slightest chance of failure. Communication with people also created difficulties because of the fear of doing something wrong.

The problem was related to child-parent relations and schooling. After psychotherapy, the line of behavior changed to "if it does not work out well, I seek reasons, improve my skills." Over time, the young man found a decent job and freed himself from a sense of anxiety.

TO OVERCOME FEAR

Fear is more intense than anxiety, and it is much more difficult to overcome it. It has a marked effect on behavior.

People tend to avoid situations related to this feeling, even with a strong motivation to achieve the goal.

It turns out that fear is vital for each of us - it performs a protective function and helps to act cautiously and circumspectly in difficult situations related to the danger to life.

It is very important to keep the fear under control. Otherwise, emotion begins to show its cunning - to lead a person's life and impose serious limitations on his abilities and desires.

The girl, who applied for help, said that she felt afraid, talking with men. She did not meet with young people, she had strong difficulties at work when communicating with members of the opposite sex. She was afraid of public transport, street, shops - in short, all the places where there are men. And the intensity of fear was quite high: subjectively, five to seven points on a scale of ten, depending on the situation. Gradually, she learned to cope with this, but spent a lot to overcome.

It turned out that in early childhood she became a victim of rape, and now she transferred fear to all men. After working through her condition, the girl was able to cope with emotions and soon she got a relationship.

WINS FOBIA

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Phobia is the most difficult case of fear. It is practically not surmountable, since the organism believes that the danger is extremely high. To overcome a phobia by effort of will is as difficult as an ordinary person to thrust his hand into a fire. It is easily detected in the body and, as a rule, has a pronounced muscular reaction - for example, numbness or an attempt to escape.

If a person can not completely avoid situations associated with a phobia, then the quality of his life significantly deteriorates.

The difference between this feeling and fear is primarily that it is associated with imaginary things.

It is normal to be afraid to go into the cage to the tiger. But even if the thought of a tiger causes a horror attack, it's a phobia.

There are about a thousand different kinds of phobias known: from fear of enclosed space, spiders and height to fear to wash.

Studies have shown that similar disorders affect 5 to 10% of the adult population of the planet.

Moreover, residents of large cities are much more vulnerable to them than the inhabitants of rural areas. The most vulnerable to pathological fear are intellectually developed, inspired and soft people with good imagination.

The development of phobias is promoted by stressful situations, information overloads (including from the media), as well as horror films. However, these are rather stimulating factors. The true cause of their occurrence is most often child psychological trauma. Let us turn to practice.

A man of fifty-five, a successful businessman, suffered from the phobia of flights. The difficulty was that at work he needed to move around a lot

Negative experiences began one to two days before the flight, the peak had to land. He literally could not enter the plane sober-his legs do not carry, the body shakes and refuses to obey. Prior to therapy, he left the situation with shock doses of alcohol, and by the time of planting he was drunk to complete oblivion. He turned to a therapist, because the body could not tolerate huge doses of alcohol, and flights were required more often.

The root cause of the problem was a child psychotrauma associated with height. She was killed by the death of a distant relative in a plane crash and an unsuccessful first flight with strong turbulences. After therapy, the fear passed, and the person was able to fly peacefully.

HOW TO FIGHT WITH FEAR?

It is important to understand that your fear is destructive and can be overcome with the help of psychotherapy. First you need to understand the cause of fear. Ask yourself the following questions:

When does this happen to me?
What exactly do I feel? Where does fear respond in the body and how much?
What do I think about it?
Can I overcome this? How strong do I need motivation?
How exactly does this interfere with my life? What do I deprive myself of? What do I have to do because of this fear?
Do other people like this? (If you are not sure, you can ask your friends.)
How will my life change if the fear disappears?
Why can this happen? Do I remember anything related to this fear?

Being in a situation that causes fear, allow yourself to openly express your feelings openly. Watch closely your own feelings.

It often happens that the fear after such actions is significantly reduced. There is nothing supernatural about this: emotions are psychic signals, and as soon as you admit that you have received them, they become weaker. If the emotions do not become less vivid, it means that your psyche is traumatized and it will be difficult to handle the problem on your own, it's better to turn to a specialist.

At home, in safety, remember the problem situation, mentally immerse yourself in it and watch your feelings, expressing them aloud.

Name your feelings and repeat this several times. Then check how the sensations in the real situation changed.

This technology is a simple but effective way to reduce fear or anxiety. It is important to understand that this is not a substitute for psychotherapy, but a kind of first aid. It is significant that if there is no deep problem, then you can get rid of fear yourself by this method.