While we so often have so many things we want to change for the new year, we come to actually change so little. And the main problem is, that we attempt and try to change our behaviour, instead of just simply doing it. And we do it by changing our thought.

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picture: cuba, june 2018

A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes - ghandi

I have for years wondered about the meaning of life, about the goal, my purpose, my meaning of existance. And yet I haven't found a clear answer. And I begin to grasp the fact that there is no meaning, no goal, no purpose, until I give one to myself. But let met explain this real short.

I have been dancing, drumming, drinking, singing and chanting, meditating and thinking, crying and trying, I have understood, misunderstood, asked, explained, but I haven't found anything that could explain the very debth of my own being. Surrounded by unaware people, I have felt alone and isolated, amongst spiritual being I have felt judged and incomplete. Alone I have felt like a failure due to procrastination. And no matter where I went or what I did, I always was looking for one thing: the key that opens the door to inner peace and joy, a letter from heaven that explains my existance, validation for what I do and how I am, proof of being ok, that hug that just finally tells me that I am loved and be in peace.

But it took me yet ages to come to realize, that it can't be done that way. While I was reading the letter from heaven, explaining life to me, I missed the hug I never got. And while I found a key to inner peace and joy, I was thinking of all the people I still have to convince and get their validation for what I do. I never got there.

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It is maybe the most simple thing and yet, we struggle so much in order to get this: our thoughts create our reality. If I think I need to get there, I will never reach it. If I think I need the perfect key, I will just have lost it. If I seek the proof of validation, it is that very moment I just disappointed someone and create rejection. That hug that finally releases me and gives me eternal freedom just became my very prison I sit in and suffer. My efforts to find the missing piece in the puzzle outside of myself are the result of my corebelief that I am incomplete. This belief will keep my striving instead of stopping right there and come to the realization, that it is only my belief I have to change.

My thoughts define myself. They define, how I define myself, how I define the world. My thinking explains and re validates my perception of life and myself. This is so very essential and crucial, so powerful and determing and yet we seem to not grasp it. In the meantime though we fill our brains with information from sources that manipulate us to certain thinking and believing and look what we have come to create in this world. Yah - it is a mess and so is our global thinking ( I tend to not use the word conscious, because who really is conscious about their thinking?!). But no worries, my dear friends, it is so powerful - (and of course, hurt beings want to control the world in order to give themselves that validation and approval of being just good and happy they never got and they are very powerful indeed) - that we can change our beliefs and thus our reality very fast.

But we have come to a point where we manifest fast, where it becomes very important, to really become aware of what we allow our thoughts to create and of how we define ourselves by focussing on specific thoughts. And this will be not easy, because we are so influenced and full of imprinted beliefs, that many feelings and thoughts will arise and scare the shit out of us, that will try to manipulate us and go back into these old beliefs, that will try to prevent us from our true power: to control our thoughts and thus our life. But I want you to stay on course, be curageous, be loving towards yourself and be aware of how you create your reality. You do always have the choice, you really do! And by choosing a loving, compassionate path, you will become a loving passionate being.

let the world know why you're here and do it with passion - wayne dyer

I had everything. A job that paid me 7000 USD a month, an appartement, a girlfriend. But I decided to quit this life, because it felt as if I'd be dying. I left and traveled for a year, where I come to know me much better. I went through hell - because I was not aware of what I was thinking, and mainly I was afraid of rejection and the void, which I then created. Being in the void without a purpose, I decided to give up all my questions and to surrender to maybe never know my purpose of being here.
I then met an older man that looked at me and said, he knows me. Through him I encountered many of my fears and anxieties, but I've really come to know me and what my own creation has become. He became me and through him I saw myself. I took over his beliefs and life showed me its consequences. I wanted the freedom he has but was unaware of the price I had to pay.

Coming from Switzerland I grew up in a society, where work, discipline, contribution and reliability are the very core values and I can see why this country is the way it is - and I am proud of it. But these values and beliefs printed a core fear in my very being: the fear of not being responsible, of being unreliable, being lazy and not contributing in any way whatsoever.

The man I met lives in faith. He helped the rich and the poor, the old and young, for 2o some years. He has no attachements and no judgement. He took me under his arm and showed me life. I started to invest all my money into cryptocurrency, believing that it will in short change the world to the better. I gained over 100'000 USD with my investment, but the market went south. My initial investment is worth half now, I can't afford to pay my health insurance. I don't have money to buy food, we live with a friend who is willing to host us. We don't have an income, we don't try to find one.

He sits on the couch watching TV, my skin has some kind of a fungus infection, I have no money to go see my family. My friends stopped talking to me. I choose to life outside of judgement and therefor I have faced so many of my social, cultural and physical fears in this past year..

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But here is the thing: I am very happy. I'm afraid that my government is going to register me for disobeing their laws, that the local government is going to fine me because I should have extended my visa for months. I feel the anxiety of my failure, my misbehaving, my lazyness and irrational economical behaviour. But what a class to watch my thoughts this is! Because I have asked for freedom, I have to come to the realizations, that ALL my fears are but mental prisons trying to control me.

Look what I have become to manifest. My fears became real and now I am in front of a messed up life, a mountain of things I "should" do. My anxiety should be off the charts, but I have learned to stay in inner peace.

The reason I am doing this is because I see the world going in the wrong direction. We let fear and anxiety, pressure and old programs rule our complete life instead of following our real passion. So with all the obstacles, I hold on to my faith and my passion and I am very content with it. And to be this, I have to push myself every day to keep going. Attacks of anxiety come over me, feelings of absolute failure take over and control my thoughts, fears in all shapes and forms sneak up to me and bite me in my neck. But they all have come to me to hear my voice saying that I know what I am doing, that I know about their illusions. I have come here to be strong and firm, to go the opposite way in order to inspire others!

the price of freedom is simply choosing to be. liberation is in the mind - buddha

I have - despite all the mess in the world, all the economical insecurities and chaos, all the odds against me, the physical pains, the mental struggles - I still have my freedom. Because I can't be freed by anything from the outside - freedom I can only find in my mind, by choosing to feel peace and compassion with all and to not give any thought or feeling any control over my very being.

And what we often forget is that the one we have to have the most compassion with, are we ourselves. I have come to learn to forgive myself for my countless mistakes and failures, my lies and misunderstandings, my ignorance and hatred. I had to learn to find peace with myself and the situation I thought myself into and bring forth the faith and strength to try again the next day. I know I will shift! And I start by choosing to think differently today!

So let my words inspire you to find peace with who you are. Only then you can shine the most beautiful light you came here to offer the world. Being you is giving the world the biggest gift you came to give. If you work against yourself through hate, dislike or punishment, you hurt everyone that gets to know you. If you forgive yourself for who you are and allow yourself to be who you truly want to be - you will give your unique gift to this world!

So change your thoughts, empower yourself for only you can truly give yourself what you need.

they may torture my body, break my bones, even kill me. Then they will have my dead body, but not my obedience - Ghandi

We live in faith, working daily on our project to help the poor, cure the ill, educate the unaware and inspire the seeking ones. We work hard to build a foundation for a self sustainable organic education and healing center. Feel free to contact me - we still look for donations in order to buy medicinal supplies for the poor. With 200 USD you can help us buy and RSGII that can safe countless lifes from dengue, malaria, cancer, AIDS, ebola. This is even NASA - resistent!

Take care - the oneQclub Movement